Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize