So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
why is half of my head shaved?
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