Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
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Swine flu is the new snow day.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
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WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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