I got chris browned last night
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize