Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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