I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize