Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize