Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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