I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize