just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize