oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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