can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
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let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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