glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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