I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
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I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
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We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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