if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
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we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
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Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Success! We fucked roommates!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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