Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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