Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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