so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My cat gives me a boner
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize