I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
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I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
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Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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