Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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