The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
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Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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