I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize