woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize