At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize