i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize