Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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