i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize