it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
sex in a hospital.. check
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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