i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
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he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
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You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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