Your dad touched me again.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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