Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize