Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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