She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize