fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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