I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Small penises have feelings too.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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