those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
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I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
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You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize