I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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