new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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