did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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