ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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