took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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