i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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