I think I just saw someone hide a body.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize