Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
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