i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I am one with the molecules
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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