i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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