I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize