There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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