that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize