I wanna bring you to show and tell
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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